News Search Search this site or the web powered by FreeFind Site search Web search Story archive		March 9, 2004, Tuesday, Scotsman BEING LEFT TO NURSE THE WORRIED FAMILIES WAS NO EASY JOB Gethin Chamberlain WHILE the soldiers could at least try to duck the bullets and rockets whistling overhead, there was nothing their partners, stuck back in the married quarters of the regiment's base in Fallingbostel in Germany, could do but fret. Terrified of bad news, even the sight of Captain Brian Gilfillan, the families officer, heading for their doors, could throw them into a panic. Gilfillan had pleaded to be allowed to go out to Iraq with the rest of the regiment when the war started, but his entreaties had been in vain. "I'd been in the army 20 years and, from a personal point of view, this was the first time we went to war and I was left behind and I was feeling it," he says. "Humiliation is a bit strong but it certainly affected me that the boys were out there and I was sitting back looking after the families." Initially, he says, the wives were fine. "When the war started there was concern, but stability." But when the fighting started in earnest, the mood began to change. Three days after the Black Watch crossed over the border, news came through of the first death. Lance Corporal Barry Stephen had been killed in an ambush outside the town of Az Zubayr. "That's when it became, not hysteria, but certainly a lot of huge concern. There were tears; that's when the pressure kicked in big style. The atmosphere changed like that. Until then, although they were at war, everyone was going about their business. It was no big deal. But as soon as that happened, it was all change. That was when reality kicked in hugely. That hit home big style. "Even before, they just thought they would be home in a few weeks but that brought it home. A few wives were pretty much hysterical in the office. They were saying, 'I want him home, I want him home', which was obviously impossible. If they were moved to the front line, not even a bereavement would get them home at that point. "Everybody became paranoid seeing me and that really affected me. They would see me coming and think automatically, 'My husband's dead'. Some of them said, 'Brian, if you did come, I wouldn't answer the door'. The look on their faces if they did open the door was one of dismay. It got so as soon as I went to the door, I would say 'It's OK, I'm just here about your house' or whatever. "They were asking what's happening and I was saying, 'I don't know, read The Scotsman, look at Sky News, I don't know what's happening'. I had no contact and I was phoning the QM quartermaster in Kuwait and he was saying, 'You probably know more than me, mate'. That was a difficult time, that week. And then it came back to normality again - or as near to normality as possible."
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